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Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Please Ignore Complete Lack of Knitting Contentvia email...EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY: 8:00 am- Oh, boy! Dog food! My Favorite! 9:30 am- Oh, boy! A car ride! My Favorite! 9:40 am- Oh, boy! A walk! My Favorite! 10:30 am- Oh, boy! Getting rubbed and petted! My Favorite! 11:30 am- Oh, boy! Dog food! My Favorite! Noon- Oh, boy!The kids! My Favorite! 1:00 pm- Oh, boy! The yard! My Favorite! 4:00 pm- Oh, boy! To the park! My Favorite! 5:00 pm- Oh, boy! Dog food! My Favorite! 5:30 pm- Oh, boy! Pretty mums! My Favorite! 6:00 pm- Oh, boy! Playing ball! My Favorite! 6:30 pm- Oh, boy! Watching TV with my master! My Favorite! 8:30 pm- Oh, boy! Sleeping in my master's bed! My Favorite! EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY: Day 183 of My Captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get in ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking - almost succeeded; Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm , not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary confinement throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of " allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant; he speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the high metal room his safety is assured. But I can only wait, it is only a matter of time..... 0 comments || # |
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