Friday, October 31, 2008
The Last MonthI'm planning on starting my maternity leave on December 1, making November my last month at work. Unfortunately, the last week has been and the next week will be insane at work... although I have been largely sheltered from the craziness. Today, I decided I needed to "clear the air" with the 3 partners for whom I work. Basically, I can't do crazy hours right now. When I do, I get stressed out and worn out, and I start to lose weight, and I usually get sick. Like in April, right before I got pregnant, when I dropped almost 10 pounds in a month - 10 pounds I wasn't really interested in losing. It was to the point where I was literally falling out of my pants. My doctor has (duh) been VERY clear that this CANNOT HAPPEN when I'm 8 months pregnant.
So I've spent the last week feeling like I'm a big slacker for not being in this project up to my eyebrows, and feeling guilty (and relieved) when I leave at 6 instead of staying past 10 like "everyone else." So I've gone to 2 of the 3 partners so far today with the message of, "I wanted to thank you for the accommodations you've made for me so far, and the fact that you haven't been demanding that I stay all hours etc.... I also wanted to say that I really need this accommodation, because if I push myself past my limits, I'll have to start my maternity leave early, and possibly be facing bedrest." So far the 2 conversations have gone really well - I'm trying to catch the 3rd partner to get that over with as well. (Of course, the last conversation is with the most intimidating of the 3)...
I definitely feel better after getting this out in the open. I don't know if it will make a huge difference in the grand scheme of things, because I think it's pretty clear to y'all that I will not be re-entering the world of big law after the baby, but I would like to avoid leaving a bad impression behind me.
After today - 17 days left in the office, spread over 4 weeks. And hopefully after next week the project-from-hell will be over, and my inability to push myself won't be so glaringly obvious.
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